What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
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