What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
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