For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
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