I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
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