What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
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