What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
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