What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
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