What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
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