Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
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