My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
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