So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.