Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
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