My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.