What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
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