Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
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