They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
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