What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
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