Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
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