Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
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