Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
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