Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.