What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
"No wine left behind."
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
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