Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
"Time to wine down."
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
Go to BabaMail
