What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
I think therefore I yam.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
Go to BabaMail
