Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
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