What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
How does a vampire make tea? With a used tampon.
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
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