What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
"No wine left behind."
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
I yam what I yam.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
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