What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
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