What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
You’re wine in a million.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
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