Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I love you from my head tomato
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
We’re a perfect mash.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
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