I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
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