What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
This foundation is rock salad.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
Why was the salad late to the dinner party?
He was waiting for his wife to get dressing.
Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
A strawberry will never help another strawberry because they tend to always get into jams.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
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