What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
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