What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
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