What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
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