Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Potato puns are a-peeling.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
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