Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
"On cloud wine."
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
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