The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Go to BabaMail
