So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
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