When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
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