The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
I like you a latke!
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