How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
Keep calm and carrot on.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
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