A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
"Rosé all day."
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
"No wine left behind."
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
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