Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
A narwhal is just a tuna-corn.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
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