What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
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