What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Everybody romaine calm.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
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