What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
---
What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
Go to BabaMail
