What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
I like you a latke!
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
How does a vampire make tea? With a used tampon.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
Go to BabaMail
