What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
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