What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
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