What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
This foundation is rock salad.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
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