What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
A narwhal is just a tuna-corn.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
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