Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
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