What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
"Alcohol you later."
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
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