Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
"Here for the right riesling."
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
"Read between the wines."
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
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