The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
I hope for world peas.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
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