What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
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