What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
"Be kind, re-wine."
Keep calm and carrot on.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
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