Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
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