What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
I hope for world peas.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
"Great minds drink alike."
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
I like you a latke!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I love you from my head tomato
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
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