Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
"It's wine o'clock."
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
A narwhal is just a tuna-corn.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
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