What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
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