What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
You knead me in your loaf.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
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