What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
Potato puns are a-peeling.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
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