What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
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