It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
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