I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
Go to BabaMail
