Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
We’re a perfect mash.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
"No wine left behind."
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
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