Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
You and I make a deluxe combo.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
"Time to wine down."
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
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