I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
"Sip happens."
I like you a latke!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Go to BabaMail
