I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
"Back that glass up."
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
"Love the wine you're with."
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
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