What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
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