How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
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