Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
I love you a tot!
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
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