A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
"Sip happens."
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
I yam what I yam.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
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