The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
"Back that glass up."
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
Go to BabaMail
