When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
My wife came home angry from the gynecologist after he told her she had to stop using lemon douche
She's been such a sour puss about it.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
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