I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
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