What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
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