What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
Go to BabaMail
