Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Why shouldn't you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you'll find the cue cumbersome.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
"It's wine o'clock."
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
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