What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
"Partners in wine."
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
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