One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
I hear Jake finally broke up with his crazy grocer girlfriend; never could tell water problem was.
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