I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”
…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
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