How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Keep calm and carrot on.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
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