When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
"No wine left behind."
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
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