What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
"Be kind, re-wine."
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
"Love the wine you're with."
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
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