What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
I like you a latke!
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
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