What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
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