A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
I like you a latke!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Go to BabaMail
