A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Join us for a slice of fun.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
You’re wine in a million.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Go to BabaMail
