What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
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