Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
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