How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
I like you a latke!
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
Go to BabaMail
