Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
"I mead more wine."
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Join us for a slice of fun.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
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