Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
I hope for world peas.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
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