Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
"Time to wine down."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Go to BabaMail
