I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
I think therefore I yam.
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
When you accidentally step on a cheerio, you become a cereal killer.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
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