Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
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