What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
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