What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
"You had me at merlot."
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
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