What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
"No wine left behind."
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
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