Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
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