What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
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