Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
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